my plan
Written: 2005-11-26 at 10:24 p.m.

ok. so this is the deal i worked out this morning with my dr.

i've weighed in at the all time low that i am allowed to be for this go round on the merry go round that is the insanity of eating disorders at 115. i am not allowed a single ounce lower or i absolutely have to go to a residential program.

i've got the next two weeks to work with my therapist, dr. and nutritionsit to get my act together gain a little weight and stop the insanity. keep your fingers crossed.

i am withdrawing from the last month of this semester because i am beyond stressed out over my classes and realized that this has to be all or nothing. there's no way that i can attempt to finish school for the next month and try and get myself healthy without getting more stressed out and try and change my behaviors at the same time. i react to very high levels of stress by not eating. simple as that.

so i will probably take this semester and next semester off. and finish next year instead of this year. now i just have to work on not feeling like a colassal failure one more time in regards to school. nobody else has to take a medical withdrawl why am i the only idiot who can't keep her shit together?

whatever. it keeps me out of the hospital for christmas so i'm happy.

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